


Wanting

by lostinmymindforever



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-15
Updated: 2012-11-15
Packaged: 2017-11-18 16:44:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/563200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinmymindforever/pseuds/lostinmymindforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam doesn’t want to feel this way, doesn’t want to WANT Dean so damn much that he feels like his heart breaks just a little bit more every time Dean takes interest in another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wanting

Sam watches him closely as he makes his way through the crowd, pausing here and there to talk and flirt with the people around him. A flare of jealousy hits him every time he pauses too long, leans too close to someone, lets someone touch him for longer than Sam thinks is necessary. But Sam squashes the feeling. It isn’t right him feeling like that. Dean doesn’t belong to Sam, not that way at least, but Sam can’t help how he feels. 

He can’t help that his every thought and dark hidden fantasy have been featuring Dean as of late. Sam doesn’t want to feel this way, doesn’t want to WANT Dean so damn much that he feels like his heart breaks just a little bit more every time Dean takes interest in another. He shouldn’t want to know what Dean tastes like, but he does. He yearns to have Dean look at him like he does these strangers, these people that they won’t even see again. 

Sam finishes his drink, turning to head outside. It wasn’t far to the motel, he could easily get there on foot, and he really didn’t want to spend the rest of the evening watching Dean find his next potential hookup. He slowly made his way towards the motel, lost in his thoughts. 

He tried so hard to not feel so heartbroken, but he couldn’t help himself. He loved Dean, loved him more than anyone else in the entire world, he’d been in love with Dean for years now, but couldn’t tell him. Sam couldn’t bare the look of disgust he knew would be on Dean’s face if he knew how Sam felt about him. Sam got back to the motel and flopped down on his bed, quickly falling into a restless sleep. 

\---

Dean looked around the bar, trying to see where Sam had disappeared to. All evening he kept being pulled away from Sam, when all he really wanted to do was spend the night relaxing with the younger Winchester. Part of Dean started to panic when he realized that Sam was gone. He walked towards the bar, leaning over to get the bartender’s attention. “Hey, did you see the guy I came in with?”

“The tall guy?” the bartender asked him, giving Dean a once over. When Dean nodded, she said, “Yeah, saw him heading out about a half hour ago. He seemed okay. Why don’t you stick around for a while, Sugar. I’m sure your buddy will be fine on his lonesome.”

Dean cursed under his breath, turning away from the woman and storming out of the bar. He was worried about Sam, while he knew Sam could take care of himself, the bar wasn’t in the greatest of neighborhoods. Dean had the keys, so he knew Sam had had to have walked back to the motel. 

Dean sped back to the motel, knowing that he wouldn’t calm down until he made sure Sam was okay.

The car was barely parked before Dean was out of it, making his way quickly into the motel room. He turned on the lights, taking a deep breath when he saw Sam was safe and sound, though a bit confused as Sam hadn’t even taken the time to undress. Dean turned on one of the bedside lamps before turning off the overhead. He made his way over to Sam’s bed and took his brother’s shoes off his feet.

Dean sighed, this wasn’t how he had expected to end the evening. He had planned on getting Sam a little buzzed then coming back to the motel to watch movies, but it seemed that everybody and their brother had wanted his attention. Sometimes he wished that people would just stop noticing him, and see the man that was before him. Dean knew Sam was a better man than him, one that the world seemed to ignore unless it was throwing crap at him. Sam deserved better, he deserved the best, and had it been up to Dean that’s all Sam would ever have. 

Dean knew Sam would be grumpy in the morning if he slept in his jeans all night, and wanted to make sure that Sam had a good night sleep. That’s what he told himself anyway, as he moved to unzip Sam’s pants. He worked the jeans down Sam’s hips, and had them halfway down his thighs before a sleepy voice asked him, “Dean, what the hell are you doing?”

Dean paused, hands still holding onto Sam’s pants, “Getting you more comfortable, what does it look like, Sammy?”

Sam rolled his eyes at the nickname, trying to figure out just why Dean thought stripping him was a brilliant idea. He looked over at the clock, noticing that only about a half hour had passed since he had gotten back to the motel. “Dean, why are you here?”

“It’s my room, too, Sam. Where else would I go?” Dean wasn’t sure he liked what Sam was asking.

Sam was pissed in a tired way, pissed at Dean for waking him, pissed at the people at the bar, pissed at his body’s reactions to Dean just being himself, an overprotective mother hen. “Didn’t think you’d be back yet, figured you’d go home with someone.” The ‘who wasn’t me’ he kept to himself, praying that Dean didn’t hear what he wasn’t saying.

“Sam, you just disappeared, left without saying anything. You think I was gonna hook up when I didn’t know you were okay?” Dean glared at Sam, getting angry because Sam was pissed off at him for no reason. Dean hated being angry at Sam, but sometimes his younger brother just pushed all of his buttons, ‘in more ways than one’ not that he was ever going to explore that thought. “For all I knew something grabbed you, what did you expect me to do?”

Sam sat up, shoving Dean away from him, “So I’m some weakling who can’t take care of myself now, Dean? Gee, thanks. Glad you finally told me how you really feel. Just leave me alone,” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, his heart silently breaking. Dean thought he was pathetic, couldn’t take care of himself, Sam would show him, show him that he wasn’t some damsel that needed protection.

“Dammit, Sam, that is not what I meant and you damn well know it. I worry, yeah, more than I should at times it seems.” He turned away from his brother, jaw clenched in frustration. Sam didn’t need Dean dropping his issues on him, didn’t need to be burdened by what Dean wanted. Dean looked at his feet, not trusting himself to look at Sam.

Sam was pissed, pissed and hurt. Angry that Dean didn’t seem to think he could take care of himself, and hurt that obviously Dean thought caring for Sam was some kind of burden. He sat staring at Dean’s back, wishing his brother felt the same way, wishing it didn’t hurt so much to love him. 

“It’s just... you’re all I have, Sam, and if anything happened to you... I don’t know if I could go on. But obviously you think I worry too much. I’m sorry, I can’t help it, Sam. Can’t help wanting, no needing to make sure you’re okay.”

With those words the anger that was in Sam quickly slipped away. Dean cared and thought that Sam was the one who thought it was too much, not the other way around. Sam stood, pulling his pants back up, and walked towards Dean. He rested a hand on Dean’s shoulder, feeling the tense muscles under his hand, wanting nothing more than to be able to let Dean know that he was fine, that nothing bad was going to happen if they stuck together. 

“Hey, Dean, look at me. Please, I don’t think you care too much, God, you have no clue.”

Dean turned to look at him, and all Sam wanted to do was kiss the hurt look off of Dean’s face, make him smile, let him know he was loved. Obviously Dean saw what was in Sam’s eyes as he took a shaky breath, his eyes darting down to Sam’s lips before returning the gaze. Sam could see want and desire shining in Dean’s eyes, and moved if on autopilot, grabbing Dean by the back of the head and crushing their lips together.

Dean kissed him back, moaning against his lips as his hands grabbed onto Sam, pulling him even closer against Dean’s chest. He walked them towards the bed, lightly shoving at Sam so he would lay down on the mattress, allowing Dean to straddle his body. The whole time Dean kept kissing him, only stopping long enough to pull their shirts over their heads, tossing them to the floor. Dean’s hands shoved at Sam’s jeans, and Sam gladly kicked them off, his hands moving to get Dean’s pants off of him.

Finally, after what seemed too long, they were both naked. Their hands moved over each others bodies, relearning and remapping. Sam was moaning with pleasure as Dean’s mouth trailed kisses and nibbles and licks down his body. His hand rested on the back of Dean’s head, not leading him anywhere, just letting Dean do whatever he wished. He let out a curse as Dean’s mouth engulfed his cock, those lips he had spent far too much time thinking about wrapping around him like they were made just to make Sam feel good.

Dean reached up, fingers brushing against Sam’s lips, and Sam opened his mouth to let the digits in. He sucked Dean’s fingers in a parody of what Dean was doing to his cock, tongue wrapping around them causing Dean to moan around his cock. All too soon Dean removed his fingers, causing Sam to whimper at the loss, but the whimper soon became a moan when Sam felt them teasing at his asshole. He spread his legs apart, giving Dean ample room to work.

Dean’s mouth left his cock, causing Sam to let out a small needy whine of loss. That sound soon became one of pleasure when Dean’s tongue joined his fingers at Sam’s hole, licking at him with tortuously slow movements. His fingers tightened in Dean’s hair as Dean’s fingers and tongue breached his entrance. The feelings were overwhelming, much more intense than anytime Sam had touched himself there. A string of curses and Dean’s name fell from his mouth, Sam losing himself in the feelings Dean was dragging out of him. 

Sam groaned as he felt Dean’s fingers brush against his prostate, the shock of pleasure almost making him arch off the bed. “Dean, please, more, need, love,” Sam babbled, knowing that he probably wasn’t making any sense, but so overwhelmed that he couldn’t speak coherently. Dean seemed to understand him though, chuckling against Sam’s hole, before pulling away. The loss of Dean’s fingers and tongue made him feel empty and broken.

Dean groaned, watching the look of pure want and need that covered Sam’s face. He spit on his hand, quickly covering his aching cock before lining it up at Sam’s hole. Sam wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist, pulling hims closer, causing Dean to sink into his tight heat. Dean threw his head back in ecstasy as his cock slipped all the way inside Sam. Sam’s face was contorted in a look of pure bliss. Dean grabbed onto Sam’s hips, setting a slow pace as he began to finally take what was his. Sam kept moaning his name, his hand reaching down to wrap around his cock. Dean was lost at the sight of Sam so gone with pleasure, all because of him. 

This is what he had been missing, this was what both of them had needed, and Dean knew that after all was said and done the two of them would talk, but that could wait. His thrusts intensified, cock slamming in and out of Sam, Dean making sure to hit Sam’s prostate with each thrust. “Sammy, God, so good, mine,” Dean moaned, pounding into Sam’s body. He watched as Sam’s hand seemed to move in a blur along his cock, the younger man so close to the edge. “That’s it, Baby Boy, come for me. Want to see you lose it, Sammy,” Dean said, eyes locking with Sam’s.

Dean’s words were enough to send Sam over the edge, cock shooting out stream after stream of hot cum, covering his chest. His muscles clamped around Dean’s hard cock, causing Dean to follow him quickly over the edge, Dean cursing and moaning Sam’s name. Dean collapsed against Sam’s chest, head resting on his shoulder, panting harshly as his body shook with pleasure. He tilted his head, kissing Sam gently. “Should have told you how I felt, Sammy, should have told you sooner. Love you, love you more than words.”

Sam smiled, his hands running gently down Dean’s back, “Love you too, god you have no idea how much I love you, Dean.”

Dean laughed lightly, “If it is anywhere as much as I love you I think you love me pretty damn much.”

Sam nodded, content for the first time in as long as he could remember. He felt safe, and more importantly, loved.


End file.
